This series of personal stories from parents who have suffered pregnancy or baby loss opens up a space for talking about loss and grief publicly.
In sharing their stories about pregnancy, infertility and the death of their babies, the parents whose personal accounts you can read on The Possum Blog are beginning to exorcise the demon of social taboo afflicting many conversations on perinatal loss. Parents share their journeys and their advice, if any, on living with loss. They share how they have changed, who they have become, and what truly matters now.
Angel baby boy Lincoln
We found out I was pregnant with Lincoln very early on. It was a little scary, as we had had four early miscarriages prior to falling pregnant with him.
My pregnancy was pretty good. We were over the moon to be pregnant with our miracle baby.
When I reached 27 weeks, I developed preeclampsia. A scan revealed Lincoln was growth restricted.
When I reached 27 weeks, I developed preeclampsia. A scan revealed Lincoln was growth restricted.
When I was around 30 weeks, another scan revealed Lincoln had a problem with his heart. However, doctors were optimistic that after he was born, medicines or a possible surgery might be able to fix the problem.
I went into labour at 33 weeks. Labour was very scary. Because Lincoln was in distress, I had to have an emergency C Section. He was born not breathing, but doctors got him back. Still, he was very unwell. At 2 days old our baby boy passed away, as his poor heart could not be fixed.
Holding Lincoln for the first time was the best feeling in the world. I didn’t want to let him go, but unfortunately the first time we got to hold him was also the time we had to say our goodbyes.
Holding Lincoln for the first time was the best feeling in the world. I didn’t want to let him go.
My eldest son was 11 years old when Lincoln passed away. It makes me sad that Lachlan never got to hold Lincoln while he was Earth-side. Lincoln was his big brother’s twin - they look so much alike!
Lachlan was old enough to understand what had happened. We were just honest with him and let him grieve in his own way. We also sought out support for him. It was heartbreaking, watching Lachlan sob for his little brother.
It was heartbreaking, watching Lachlan sob for his little brother.
Losing Lincoln was the worst thing to happen to our family. What followed has been the hardest and saddest year. I am a different person and feel things will never be the same. Our family will always be incomplete without Lincoln. It makes you realise how precious life and family are.
Losing Lincoln was the worst thing to happen to our family. What followed has been the hardest and saddest year. I am a different person.
What I wish I had known before I suffered perinatal loss myself is how important it is to take photos and videos. I wish I had taken more, as they are now such precious memories.
To recently bereaved parents I would say to reach out for support. Services like Bears of Hope do a wonderful job. Lean on your family and friends. Unfortunately, I feel there is nothing anyone can really say to make it better.
I have been wishing for a long time that we could have pictures of Lincoln Earth-side with no tubes attached to his face. Having a Possum Portrait made gives me exactly this opportunity, and I am so grateful. What a wonderful service.
I have been wishing for a long time that we could have pictures of Lincoln Earth-side with no tubes attached to his face. Having a Possum Portrait made gives me exactly this opportunity, and I am so grateful.
Hold your loved ones tight and live in the moment. We deeply miss Lincoln, and he will be loved and remembered always.
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