This is My Story - Airlia

In this series of personal stories we hear from parents who have suffered pregnancy or baby loss. We hold space for loss and grief, and we remember our babies gone too soon.

In sharing their stories, these parents are beginning to exorcise the triple demons of stigma, silence and ignorance that afflict so many conversations in the perinatal bereavement space.

Parents share their journeys and the lessons they have learned about grief, parenthood, friendship and living after the death of their baby. They tell us how they have changed, who they have become, and what truly matters now.

Baby boy Lenny with his mum and dad

We found out I was pregnant on our nephew's first birthday. We had been joking around that day, saying that I was pregnant because I’d missed my period. So when we got home and did a test, getting a positive result was the biggest and best shock to us.

We weren’t expecting to be pregnant, so Lenny felt like a blessing the minute we found out. We immediately stepped into mum and dad mode.

Despite no longer having a baby to hold, we are still Lenny’s parents and take these roles on with great pride. 

We had a 16-week scan and were told things didn’t look quite right. We got referred to a specialist in Townsville. It is the only specialist clinic in far North Queensland, so we were prepped for a lengthy wait time. This felt like torture. My mind played tricks on me, but without any definitive answers, I tried to remain as hopeful as possible.

We were lucky and a cancellation call came from the clinic, so we got in a lot sooner. It was here that we were told Lenny would likely not make it to full term, and if he did, he wouldn’t survive long. The doctor identified what he believed was some form of short stature syndrome. This was later confirmed with an amniocentesis.

Lenny had Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a lethal condition. My heart shattered in our counselling session with the doctor and midwife. They explained the process of moving forward, which honestly seemed surreal.

I just remember saying to myself, "this isn’t how it was meant to go!" You don’t expect your pregnancy to end like this, so it just didn’t make sense to me. 

I was induced into labour at 21 weeks and 6 days. It was a relatively short labour lasting only 9 hours. But it was the most painful experience, both physically and emotionally. Knowing that you’re not getting your fairytale ending with your baby makes those labour pains a hundred times worse. It’s a soul crushing experience.

I have my beautiful partner Noah to thank for trying his best to make the labour experience less intense. He made sure I was as comfortable as I could be and stayed by my side the entire time, not shying away from any of it.

We were surrounded by both of our families after Lenny was born. There was a lot of sadness for them meeting and saying goodbye to Lenny at the same time. But their support meant so much to us and being there made the experience deeply meaningful.

Lenny Francis Short, my beautiful little boy, was born sleeping on the 16th of June 2025. When I held him for the first time, my whole world shifted. I now knew a kind of unconditional love that only a parent can understand.

The hospital staff were all so lovely. They helped us do some really nice memory making things with Lenny and were so gentle and caring with him, both physically and with the way in which they spoke about him.

I remember one midwife kept calling him 'gorgeous' and 'beautiful'. This made us feel like Lenny was getting the recognition he truly deserved. I can’t thank them enough for creating a space for us that felt safe and supporting. 

Leaving the hospital was excruciating. All I wanted was my baby in my arms. It was a long and dreadful walk out of the maternity ward, knowing other parents would be leaving with their arms full and mine, instead, were empty. 

Baby loss isn’t something you can prepare for. The initial grief is intense and can be really isolating, especially when you see other women who are pregnant or with babies. Your thoughts can quickly became rages of jealously and “that should be me with a baby, too.”

The strength and resilience you build up though is incomparable. I have Lenny to thank for that. Because of him, I get out of bed each day and whilst still very much in the thick of grief, I am strong for him and I choose to make the most of out of my day - because I know that’s what he would want.

My life looks very different now as Lenny's mum, and my motivations have changed a lot. I’m a mum and that’s all I could ever want to be, and a good one. My relationship with my partner feels a lot stronger and we’ve bonded in ways we never knew was possible.

I wish I had known how common baby loss is. It’s something you know about, but never really hear about until you’re going through it. From here it sparks conversations with people who have themselves gone through it, or know someone who has.

There’s a large community of people out there who are bereaved parents and while I wish wasn’t a part of this club, I know I’m not alone. I know there’s a lot of support out there from people who know what it’s like to lose a baby. 

Losing your baby will be the hardest thing you ever go through. But there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Books have been really helpful for me, especially Elle Wrights “Ask Me His Name”. An amazing tribute to the son she lost - it even inspired me to share my story now!

Writing things down is a really positive release, too. I struggled to articulate to others how I was feeling, but after reading "Ask Me His Name" I felt validated. Elle really captures the depth and gravity of what it’s like to lose a baby and it’s really helpful to relate to. 

Navigating life after loss isn’t linear. Some days are good and you experience life’s little joys. Others you fall into a heap, and the grief is so intense.

So remember to be kind to yourself and be patient. I find a lot of comfort in the little signs Lenny gives me. These put an instant smile on my face and remind me he is around, always. 

My Possum Portrait is a beautiful way to honour the memory of my little Lenny.

The idea behind Possum Portraits is inspiring, and it reminds me of just how kind people can be, creating something that is unique and special in remembering their little baby. So thank you to the team at Possum Portraits!

The loss of Lenny has made me realise how quickly your world can turn upside down. The future that you planned, changed entirely. It’s a difficult journey to navigate, but it’s one that has a whole community of support available to you. So it’s important to reach out and share your story. 

Lenny will never be forgotten and will always hold a very special place in my heart. 

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